More Bob Ong Translations...by request

Someone called o07cAmil just asked me to translate a couple of Bob Ong quotes I have missed. Thanks for these additional quotes, and... request granted!

(If you have other Bob Ong sayings I might have missed in my translations, by all means submit them to me and I'll try to translate them for you)

So dude, here's what I've come up with. Enjoy!
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Hindi naman kailangan ang maraming tao para bumuo ng mundo eh. Minsan isang tao lang ang kasama mo buo na ang mundong kailangan mo habambuhay.

You don't really need that many people to create a world. Sometimes one person is all you need to be with to complete the world you need for as long as you live.
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Hindi porke pinili nyang magkaibigan lang kayo ay di ka na niya mahal. Di mo lang alam mas higit ka niyang mahal dahil pinili niya kung san kayo mas magtatagal...

Though he/she chose that you just be friends doesn't mean that he/she doesn't love you. You may not know that he/she loves you that much because he/she chose to be where you both will last the longest.
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Kung mahalaga ka talaga sa isang tao, hahanap sya ng paraan para magka-oras sa yo. Kung wala syang oras sa yo, wag kang umasang mahalaga ka sa kanya.

If you are truly important to a person, he/she will find a way to make time for you. If he/she doesn't have time for you, don't expect that you are important to him/her.
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Bob Ong Quotes...Translated (English):
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

Bob Ong Quotes...Translated (Part 6)

[Here's the much-awaited sixth (and probably last?) installment of my translations of Bob Ong Quotes. Enjoy!]

Kung paniniwalaan namin kayo na hindi naglaro ng tubig kahit na basa ang damit n’yo, kayo ang niloloko namin; hindi kayo ang nakapanloloko.”

If we are to believe that you are not playing with water even if your clothes are wet, we are the one fooling you; not you fooling us.
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Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali, alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?

Why is it that kids are not taking a nap in the afternoon? Do they know that if they learn to fall in love they will not be able to sleep anymore even if they want to?
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Minsan, may mga bagay na hindi nakikita. Sabi nila, kailangan mo raw makita ang mga bagay na iyon para patunayan na totoo nga sila. Pero naniniwala ako na may mga bagay na kahit hindi nakikita eh totoo. At para sa akin, mas higit silang mahalaga kaysa sa mga bagay na nakikita…

Sometimes there are things you cannot see. They say, you need to see these things to prove that they are real. But I believe there are things that though you cannot see them, are real. And for me, they are more important than things you can see.
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Kahit na anong bagal ng paglakad mo, kung di ka naman niya gustong habulin, hindi ka talaga nya maabutan..kahit na mag- stop over ka pa.

No matter how slow you walk and he/she doesn’t want to go after you, he/she will never reach you, even if you make a stop-over.
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Sa mga taong di nagpaparamdam sa kanilang mga kaibigan e mabuting patayin nalang namin kayo para magparamdam kayo.

To people who are not making their presence felt to their friends, it’s probably better if we just kill you so you will make your presence felt.
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Tipong pag sinabihan ka ng sorry, pwedeng sumama pa ang loob mo. Pero pag sinabihan ka na ng SUPER SORRY, naku - bawal na magtampo! Kasi super na yan.

It’s like if you’ve been apologized to, it’s possible that you’ll still be sulking. But if you’ve been told that they are SUPER SORRY, why, stop moping because it’s already super.
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Makakapagbago ka lang kung kaya mo nang aminin na hindi mo mapagkakatiwalaan ang sarili mong pag-iisip, dahil ito rin ang nagtutulak sa ‘yo sa bisyo.

You’ll be able to change only if you admit to yourself that you cannot trust your own thoughts, because it will also push you towards vices.
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Pag binisita ka ng idea, gana, o inspirasyon, kailangan mong itigil LAHAT ng ginagawa mo para lang di masayang ang pagkakataon.

If you’ve been visited by an idea, a desire or inspiration, you need to stop everything you’re doing so as not to waste the opportunity.
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Wag kang matuwa sa mga bagay na nakikita mo sa ngayon. Lahat iyan ay panandalian lamang at anumang sandali ay maaaring mawala.

Do not be amused by things you can see today. All of that are just fleeting and could disappear at any moment.
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Parang eskwelahan din ang buhay e. Marami kang pag-aaralan, pero hindi naman lahat ‘yon e importante at kailangan mong matutunan.

Life is also like school. You’ll get to study lots of things. But not all are important and necessary for you to learn.
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Sa kolehiyo, maraming impluwensiya ang makikita. Masama o mabuti man ito. Wag mo isisi sa thesis partner o sa kaibigan ang lahat kung bakit nasira ang baga mo sa kakayosi, nasira ang atay mo sa kakainom at kung bakit nagkaroon ka agad ng pamilya. Kung talagang matino kang tao, kahit sino pa mang tarantado ang kasama mo ay maitutuwid mo pa rin ang daang tatahakin mo.

In college, you’ll get to see many influences, either good or bad. Don’t blame your thesis partner or friend if your lungs are harmed because of smoking, your liver impaired because of too much drinking and why you got yourself a family too soon. If you are a sensible person, even if you are with the most evil person, you can still straighten the path you'll be walk on.
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Wag mawawalan ng gana sa buhay. Kung ano yung galing mo, kulit mo, lakas ng sigaw at tuwa mo sa mga laban ng UAAP, NCAA, mga sports fest o concert ng paborito mong banda, wag mong iwawala hanggang sa pagtanda. Wag kang tutulad sa ilang kongresista na nagre- report sa trabaho para lang matulog.

Don’t give up your zest for life. What with all your talents, your annoying persistence, your earsplitting shouts and joyfulness at every UAAP, NCAA, sports fest or concert of your favorite band, do not lose them ‘til you’re old. Don’t take after a congressman who reports to work just to sleep on the job.
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Kung gusto mong maging musikero, sige lang. Pintor, ayos! Inhinyero, the best! Kung gusto mo maging teacher, pilitin mong maging teacher na hindi makakalimutan ng estudyante mo. Kung gusto mong maging sapatero, maging pinakamahusay kang sapatero. Kung gusto mong maging karpintero, maging pinakamagaling kang karpintero. Kung gusto mong maging tindero ng balut, wag kang dadaan sa harap ng bahay naming para mambulahaw sa gabi kung ayaw mong masaktan!

If you want to be a musician, go for it. A painter, fine! An engineer, the best! If you want to become a teacher, try to be a teacher who will never be forgotten by your students. If you want to be a cobbler, be the best cobbler. If you want to become a carpenter, be the greatest carpenter. If you want to be a balut vendor, don’t pass by my house just to bother us at night if you don’t want to get hurt!
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Kahit kelan walang maling desisyon, nagiging mali lamang ito kapag hindi napapanindigan.

There is never a wrong decision. It only becomes wrong if one does not stand by it.
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Hindi ako naniniwalang kailangan ng tao mangarap dahil gusto nya ng pera o gusto nyang sumikat o gusto nya ng impluwensya. Side effects na lang ang mga ‘to, tingin ko. Nangangarap ang tao dahil binigyan sya ng Diyos ng kakayahang mangarap at tumupad nito. Tungkulin nyang pagbutihin ang pagkatao nya at mag –ambag ng tulong sa mundo.

I don’t believe that a person needs to dream because he wants money or fame, or influence. These are all just side effects, I think. People dream because God gave them the ability to dream and make it come true. It’s his duty to improve his personhood and contribute something to the world.
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Minsan, kailangang ituro ng mundo sa’yo ang tama sa paraang masasaktan ka para matandaan mo.

Sometimes the world needs to teach you what is right in a way that hurts you so you will remember.
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Pero tanging ang utak lang ng tao- sa buong kalawakan- ang natatanging bagay na nagpipilit umintindi sa sarili niya.

But it is only the mind of a person – in the entirety of space – that is the only thing persistent to understand oneself.
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Kung wala kang alam sa buhay ng dalawang tao o kahit pa man may alam ka sa isa sa kanila, wala ka pa rin sa tamang lugar para lagyan ng kahulugan ang mga kilos nila.

If you don’t know anything about the lives of any two people, or if you know something about one of them, you still are not in the right place to put any meaning to their actions.
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Walang taong panget. Nagkataon lang na yung mukha nila hindi uso at hindi in.

There is no ugly person. Chances are his/her face is just not in style right now and is not in.
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Karapatan kong madapa at bumangon sa buhay nang walang tatawa, magagalit, magtatanong, o magbibilang kung ilang beses na ‘kong nagkamali at ilang ulit ako dapat bumawi.

I have the right to fall and stand up in life without anyone laughing, getting mad, asking or counting how many times I committed mistakes and how many times I should get even.
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Ganyan talaga ang mga tao, pipihit-pihitin ang katotohanan hanggang sa sumang-ayon na ito sa kumportableng posisyon ng mga makasarili nilang puso.

That’s just how people are, they will twist the truth until it agrees with the comfortable position of those who have selfish hearts.
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Ang liit at laki ay nasa isip lang. Bakit kami nina Bubuyog at Gagamba, may naipundar din kami kahit papano. Nasa pagsisikap lang ‘yan ng tao!

Being small or big is just in the mind. Why, take us Bees and Spiders...we have at least built something. It’s just a matter of diligence on the part of humans.
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Natawa ka man o nandiri sa pagkaing may kakaibang pangalan, isang patunay lang yan na apektado ka ng salita.

If you laughed at or were disgusted by food with a very odd name, this is proof that you were affected by words.
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Tama na sigurong malaman namin na lumalakad ang mga kamay ng relo at tumatakbo ang panahon.

It’s probably enough that you know that the hands on a watch are slowly moving and time is running.
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Paggawa na ba ng mabuti ang hindi paggawa ng kasamaan?

Is it already doing a good thing if you're not doing anything bad?
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Pero mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.

But it’s better to fail at doing something than to succeed in doing nothing.
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Wala kang ibang paghuhugutan ng sipag, tiyaga, at determinasyon kundi sarili mo.

There is no other place where you can draw diligence, patience and determination from but your own self.
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Previous Translations:
Part 5 / Part 4 / Part 3 / Part 2 / Part 1

Bob Ong Quotes...Translated (part 5)

ON LIFE

"Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."

It's not loneliness or fear that's tough to face when alone, but in acknowledging that of the billions of people in this planet, nobody fought just to be with you.
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"Nakabalik ako sa lugar, pero hindi ko naibalik ang panahon."

I've returned to the place, but I wasn't able to bring back time.
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"Huwag mong maliitin ang kakayahan mong tsumamba."

Do not belittle your ability to take chances.
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"Wala namang masama sa pangingibang-bayan. Walang masama kung gusto mong lisanin ang barkong sa tingin mo’y papalubog na. Basta’t wag mo lang hahagisan ng anumang pabigat ang barko habang pinagsusumikapan itong isalba ng ibang tao."

There's nothing wrong about going abroad. It's not bad if you wish to abandon a ship that you think is already sinking. Just don't throw anything burdensome on it while others are persevering to salvage the ship.
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"Merong matigas.. merong malambot.. merong tuwid..merong kulot.. merong buo..merong durog.. at merong mga taong hindi basta basta lumulubog!"

Some are hard...others soft. Some are straight...some are curly. Some are whole while others are broken...and there are people who just cannot be brought down.
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"Walang taong manhid. Hindi niya lang talaga maintindihan kung ano ang gusto mong iparating dahil ayaw mo siyang diretsuhin."

There are no numb people. He/She just cannot understand what you want to convey because you don't want to say it straight to him/her.
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"Naniniwala ako sa isang prinsipyo sa psychology na nagsasabing para makuha mo ang gusto mo, kailangan nakatatak ito sa isip mo ng buong-buo. VISUALIZED.."

I believe in this one principle of psychology which says that for you to get what you want, you need to entirely imprint it in your mind. VISUALIZED...
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"Hindi naman lagi iiyak ang mundo para lang sa isang tao."

The world will not always weep for just one person.
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"Ano namang mapapala mo kakaisip sa nakaraan at sa mga pwede pang mangyari? Wala ka naman sigurong super powers para maibalik ang nakalipas na. Dapat matuto kang pahalagahan ang mga nangyayari sayo sa kasalukuyan. Isipin mo yung ngayon. I-enjoy mo lang ang buhay. Wag kang emo. Hindi ka talaga magiging masaya kung di mo tutulungan ang sarili mo. Natural lang na makaramdam ng lungkot paminsan-minsan pero ang pagiging miserable? Wag kang hibang choice mo yan."

What will you get from thinking about the past and what should have happened? You don't even have superpowers to bring back the past. You just need to appreciate the things that are happening at present. Think of the now. Enjoy your life. Don't be emo. You really will not be happy if you won't help yourself. It's natural to feel sad every now and then but to be miserable? Don't be crazy, that's your choice.
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"Kung hindi mo alam kung sino ka, paano mo maipagmamalaki ang sarili mo?"

If you don't know who you are, how can you be proud of yourself?
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"Minsan kailangan mong maging malakas, para amining mahina ka."

Sometimes you need to be strong to admit that you are weak.
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"Ano ang talino kung walang disiplina?"

What is knowledge if there is no discipline?
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"Nalaman kong maswerte ako dahil pinaglaro at pinag-aral ako ng mga magulang ko nung bata pa ako. Hindi pala lahat ng bata e dumadaan sa kamusmusan."

I found out how fortunate I was because I was allowed to play and attend school by my parents when I was still a child. Not all kids have passed through childhood.
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"Nalaman kong mali ang laging mamigay ng pad paper sa mga kaklaseng linta na hindi bumibili ng paper kahit may pambili."

I learned that it's wrong to give away pad paper to bloodsucking classmates who do not buy paper even if they have the money to get their own.
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"Paano ko sila pasasalamatan kung ngayon ko lang naintindihan ang mga itinuro nila?"

How can I thank them if it's only now that I have just understood what they have taught me?
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"Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan. In English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!"

Hey friend, you are a genuine person and there is no tinge of falsehood in you. In English, FACT you, friend. You're the real deal. In English, FACT you!
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Just a postscript on that last quote I translated. A lot of people are asking for the meaning of this quote. I say, Bob Ong was again probably showing his sinister sense of humor here. If I may so interpret, it's like saying, "Hey, banal na aso! Santong kabayo! (tagalog oxymoron- direct translations "Holy Dog," "Sacred Horse") You're so good and perfect! FACT you! (play on words/double meaning denoting, "yeah you're the real deal, in fact." But it also means "up yours!" hahaha!)

Get it?
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Next : Part 6

Translated Bob Ong Quotes in Review
Part 4 / Part 3 / Part 2 / Part 1

More Bob Ong Quotes...Translated (Part 4)

Back by popular demand, here are more of Pinkoy's translations of those quirky quotes from Bob Ong.

Before we proceed though, I just wanna clarify that...no, I'm not Bob Ong's translator (in answer to a reader's question posed in one of my first of this series). Let's just say, I'm doing the english-speaking world a favor by sharing Bob Ong's in-your-face, street wisdom about love and life. Talk about a reality check, huh.

These are new translations...so bear with me as I again indulge in this nose-bleeding task (which I think nobody is willing to take, until this crazy kitty came along).

About Love:

"Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

It's hard to land a role in a person's life, especially if you are not the protagonist in the script he/she chose.
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"Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

Sometimes even if it is your time, you still have to wait because you are not the priority.
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"Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

Do you know how far the distance is between two people if they've already turn their backs on each other? You have to go around the whole world just to face again that person whom you have given up.
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"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

If you loved a person you shouldn't have loved and you got hurt, don't blame your heart. It only throbs to supply blood for your body. Now, if you are good at anatomy and then you blame your hypothalamus which controls your emotions, you're still wrong. Why? C'mon! Don't put the blame on your body organs for all the hurt you've felt in your life. Remember this: you will only be happy if you learn to accept that it is not your heart, brain, liver or intestines that did you wrong in all the things that happened to you, but it is YOU yourself!
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"Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

Let go of the things that hurt you even if they make you happy. Don't wait for that day when all that's left is the pain, and the one who makes you happy left you.
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"Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka."

Love is like a filthy gutter...you're afraid of falling in...but if you fell, it's either by accident or you're just plain stupid.
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"Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

If you love two people, choose the second one. It's because you wouldn't fall for another if you really love your first.
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"Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

It doesn't mean that because you always chat, talk over the phone, accompany you in errands or texts you constantly, he/she is interested in you and you'll end up together. There are people who are just plain friendly, sweet, flirty, teasing, or just wants to lead you on.
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“Ang tenga kapag pinagdikit korteng puso… Extension ng puso ang tenga, kaya kapag marunog kang makinig, marunong kang magmahal.”

The ears, if put together, is shaped like a heart. Ears are the extension of the heart, so if you know how to listen, you know how to love.
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“Kapag pinag-aagawan ka malamang maganda o gwapo ka. Sumama ka sa mabuti, hindi sa mabait. Sa marunong hindi sa matalino. Sa mahal ka, hindi sa gusto ka.”

If you are being fought over you probably are beautiful or handsome. Go with someone who is good rather than kind. With someone wise rather than intelligent. With someone who loves you rather than someone who wants you.
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Next: Part 5 / Part 6

Translated Bob Ong Quotes in review
Part 3 / Part 2 / Part 1

About Life...Bob Ong Quotes translated (Part 3)

This set of quotes is a tough one to translate. I try to really make decent translations out of Bob Ong's sardonic yet funny takes on life in general. Pardon the photo thumbs, I need to make my life easier. But you'll soon notice that at the very last entries I kind of lost it (hirap! nosebleed!). so here goes, part 3 and probably the last (for now) of the Bob Ong quotes, translated...

BUHAY - LIFE
(In general)

"Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."

You can eat steamed bun laced with cat meat or walk on glass shards barefooted, but don't ever try drugs. If you can't stay away from it, then ask your parents' help because they know where the cheap suppliers are and they will not fool you."
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"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

Dream and try to reach it. Don't put the blame on your broken family, your failure of a fiancee, your disabled puppy or flying cockroaches. If there ever were lapses done to you by your parents, you can blame them and become a rebel. Stop going to school, marry, do drugs, dye your armpit hair. In the end, you become the victim. A rebel who proved nothing and has never been good to himself.
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"Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa'yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?"

Realize your aspirations. This is your obligation to yourself. If you need to devour buckets of soil so you can get into the Guinness Book of World Records and exalted by our country, do it. The f#@! with people who would just want to talk you out of it. If scientists of yore didn't persevere, we wouldn't be living in Jupiter now. Though, we still do not live in Jupiter because these scientists didn't really persevere during their time. Can you see the moral lesson? (Huh? what the...)
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"Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras."

I realized that while you are growing up, you fall down a lot of times. You either stand up again or not, life goes on, earth will continue to rotate and time will be spent.
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HALO-HALO - MIXED/MISCELLANEOUS

Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

Don't rush yourself into marriage. Three, five, ten years from now, your standards will change and you will soon realize that it's wrong to choose a partner only because she sings like Debbie Gibson or he is great at breakdancing. The truth is, what's inside a person is more important. Years will pass, even the heartthrobs in your school will eventually look like (pandesal). Believe me.
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"ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko."

I don't want to get used to things that you can live without.
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"hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"

Are you really looking for me or are you looking for what I don't have?
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"hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. "

It isn't because you don't understand a certain thing that makes it a lie. And not everything you understand are truths.
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"Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa'yo – ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao."

They say that whatever kind of problem, there is only one person who can help you - yourself. They're right. I testified against myself. Maybe when God gave us conscience, he knew people's brains are not working all the time.
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Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko."

It is my obligation to travel, my right to go places where I wanna go, my life is my responsibility.
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"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

I'm a bad person, like you, in the same way that you're a good person, like me.
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"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala."

It is better to fail at doing something than achieve in doing nothing.
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"iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala."

Doing nothing is different from nothing being done. (wha? this is difficult to translate...)
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"iba ang informal gramar sa mali!"

Informal grammar is different from wrong grammar (this one courtesy of wackyista)
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"Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay."

For what purpose is a cellphone with a camera? If that is really needed in life, I probably have been dead a long time ago.
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Next: Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
In Review: Part 1 / Part 2

Bob Ong Quotes Translated (Part 2)

PAG-AARAL (ON STUDYING)

"Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."

Study well. If you stop going to school, you'll regret it when you get older because you wouldn't have experienced the extraordinary joy brought by days of school breaks, suspended classes or when the teacher is absent (Aahh, yummy!).
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"Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba't-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan..."

I have learned there are a lot of free lectures in the world, you yourself will create the syllabus. There are many teachers outside the school, you decide who you want to learn from. All of us are now enrolled in one university, there are many difficult subjects, but since they are given for free, you lose if you drop out. All of us will graduate, each taking different paths. Our only diploma are the memories that would remind us of the help and love we have given to this world that we hoped to change at some point..."
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"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa."

Encourage everyone you know to have at least one favorite book in their life. Because no one is more unfortunate than a person who is literate but do not read.
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"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."

Studying would only take you two decades. If you don't keep at it, it'll cost you five decades of destitution. It's too much of a loss. If young people only knew, in my opinion...nobody would choose to avoid school.
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Next: Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
In Review: Part 1

Bob Ong Quotes Translated (Part 1)

A friend of mine sent me this email of quotes presumably written by Bob Ong, originally a blogger (creator of the Bobong Pinoy site) and only recently gained acclaim for his books that depicted the humorous side of Pinoy life.

His quotes, originally in Tagalog, are so amusing that if you think about it, do have some truth in them, and I just had to translate them. This is just the first part of a series of translations of Bob Ong quotes for reasons of space, and maybe save some for future posts. So here goes...

P.S. I'm translating these quotes in the literal sense, so they might turn out to be funny (but witty, I hope hehe). If you have translations though that are better than what I have written, please feel free to suggest. Thanks!

Pag-Ibig (Love):

"Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya." -- If you don't love the person, don't show that you have a motive just so he/she would love you back.

"Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon." -- Everybody would take love seriously if they are hit hard. It's just that not all are strong enough to resist temptation.

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sa yo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo." -- Use your heart to care for a person whose closest to you. Use your brain to take care of yourself.

"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba." -- Don't let go of the thing that you can't bear to see being held by another.

"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang" -- Don't possess that thing which you know you would let go eventually.

"Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na." -- Never ever possess another thing if you know you already possess something.

"Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh, meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin." -- It's just like taking the elevator. Why would you cram yourself in if you know that there is no more room for you. There's always the stairs, you just don't want to acknowledge it.

"Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo...Dapat lumandi ka din." -- If you wait for someone to flirt with you, nothing will actually happen in your life...You must also initiate the flirting. (or something like that ^-^)

"Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang." -- If you love someone and he/she doesn't, just let it be. Who knows in the following days you'd come to not like him/her anymore. It's just a matter of who goes first. (d'you get it?)

"Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa." -- Leave the relationship if you are not happy anymore. There's no cure for stupidity but initiative.

"Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka...kaya quits lang." -- If your loved-one doesn't love you, don't complain. You see, there are also people you don't love but love you...so call it even. (hew!)
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Next:
Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6