The onset of 2009 was, shall I say, very kind to me. I spent my first day with my family here in Subic, and, work-wise, I have really high hopes that the year will also be a banner period for Bay FM, the community radio station I was tasked to manage and develop.
Well, I spoke to soon. Unlike the first few days of 2009, not everything (or everyone) had been kind.
I really don't want to rant here in pinkoy about this, but I need to let out all these frustrations, disappointments and hurt which I am feeling right now. It's just because I never in my wildest dreams, thought that this would happen to me.
I came back to work at the radio station with the pending task of presenting to the SBMA Board of Directors the business plan of Bay FM. I wasn't really worried that I'd bust this assignment as I was prepared, hoping that the Board will finally approve the purchase of the station's transmitter and equipment (which our agency's Bids and Awards Committee had been working on for two years now). We already previously presented the project twice but the Board deferred its decision. Why? I don't know but I have an inkling that there are certain forces that wouldn't want the voice of this very small government/community station be heard beyond the confines of the fenced area of the Freeport. But that's just me.
Anyway, on January 9, the business plan was listed first in the agenda of the Board. My lady boss (DA for Corporate Communications), the Chairman and Head of Agency were there and well, practically a lot of SBMA people were there to attend the meeting.
Before I started, the Board talked about the controversial Palafox issue. It was a very long discussion and gave me some time to review my presentation. When it was my turn, I started off by trying to respond to a suggestion made by one of the board members to modify the transmitter design. All I said was that I will take this up with our technical group because right now the equipment we are trying to procure was still the original design. The atmosphere at that time in the boardroom was so calm, official and very decorous, until...
With the mention of the word "procure," Director Rex Chan suddenly burst out, "E hindi nga pwede illegal nga yan e! Tsaka, ba't mo ba pinagpipilitan! Ba' t mo ba minamadali yan!"
Illegal? This is a community radio station established by the government and approved by the SBMA Board itself...I thought to myself.
Then, he pointed an accusing finger at me and shouted "Ba't mo ba pinipilit! This lady, tell me straight! Ano bang meron dyan! Ano bang makukuha mo dyan! Ano ba ang makukuha mo jan!"
(Sorry if I didn't translate the quoted lines. It's hard as it is recalling these false insinuations).
O my God, I said to myself. What is he yelling about? Is he suggesting that I am getting money out of this project?
I couldn't answer him because I was so shocked. Everybody in that boardroom I guess was also shocked at what just happened because the atmosphere turned from calm to uncomfortably tense.
Chairman Salonga then told the Board to just give me the opportunity to present the business plan. I really tried to be brave about it but, being just an ordinary working girl who was in the presence of these big, powerful and so-called honorable people, and with one of them having already bullied and humiliated me, I cried.
I cried for a moment, but I went on with my presentation while in between sobs. I know that everybody in that room pitied me, including the Chairman who has been so supportive throughout my presentation. I was also glad that my lady boss, Ms. Knette Fernando, was there to at least clarify things to them while I was in the process of sobbing.
But the humiliation had already happened and I cannot believe that after all the hard work I have been doing so that Subic Bay's FM station would thrive and benefit the community, I will be falsely and fiercely accused of something I would never do.
Maybe it's all just politics. I really don't know. I found out that a member of the Board is a stockholder of a radio station network here in Olongapo City (not Director Chan). Whatever it is though, nobody has the right to just humiliate a person like that with such unsubstantiated insinuations. If it was indeed politics, please... I am not a politician. I am just working here.
As for the fate of Subic Bay's community radio station, sadly, I guess I really don't know when this facility will ever be fully developed. I don't want to think that I have failed...us radio geeks have failed. But no...we love radio. And us radio geeks will still be here trying to do our jobs and give Subic Bay 24/7 to radio listeners even if this small facility would forever be just what it is...a tiny voice in the heart of this godforsaken country.
Birth pains of BayFM - Click here.
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4 comments:
I was clenching my fist as i read this, wanting to take a smack at this guy if i was there. Of all people who has stayed on in Subic, you are by far the most apolitical, having survived transitions in administrations and being able to dance along with the change. Pardon my french but, 'tang'na, buti nga at may nagmamalasakit ginanun niyo pa.
I think this person is versed in old media practices wherein playing music and less talk is the way to handle a radio station, irrelevant if it reaches the next town or not.
However, it also dawns on me that these Directors should have also addressed you, or any other person making a presentation, with the respect that is due any person. HIndi naman yan palengke na nagbebenta ka ng isda, last time i looked it was a million peso boardroom that denied me permanence and bonuses which i know i was entitled to like so many other sbma people. This director's act was a show of conduct unbecoming and a lack of respect for women. In some countries, men get castrated for such actions.
It doesn't surprise me why the very same people who toughed it out in subic despite all odds have now left and pursued other endeavors. For them it was going nowhere, but I know you're still one of those who believe in it, and for that I applaud you.
I hope you overcome and learn from this episode. Right now, it really doesn't matter if the station reaches farther in terms of trasnmission, believe me, the wave of the future, lies on being able to manipulate the web and transmit from there, giving a wider reach.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks Anton for your thoughts. I truly appreciate it especially coming from someone who knows how it is working in this institution. I get exasperated a lot of times especially if all the work we are striving for are conpsensated with nary a pat in the back...but that's public service. Thanks again for your support. Ingat lagi
pinkoy, para ka namang bago ng bgao jan. i'm sure somebody wanted to get something out of this "procurement".
i also am sure na di ikaw yun. kaya somebody wanted to earn from it.
kasi yang mga yan, maraming on the sid kaya tingin nila, lahat katulad nila.
you know, i truly admire people like you who stayed considering how rampant the corruption were. i am not pointing which side of the political forces, kasi pare pareho lang naman.
it's only a matter of who's getting how much.
Yes that's what I thought too Buraot...akala nila lahat katulad nila. Siguro I still believed there is some good in people na katulad nila, but I was wrong. Power really corrupts and twists the mind.
Honestly, I'm near the point where I want to give up na. But a lot of people, friends, are giving me the strength to hang on. I'm giving myself a couple of years before I leave this friggin place. Maganda ang Subic sa totoo lang pero kung ganito namang niyayari nila ang kagandahan ng lugar na ito, I don't wanna stick around and witness how people like them destroy this place. I hear a lot, sa totoo lang, kaya nakaka-disappoint.
Thanks bro for droppin by :)
Myraine, thanks for your visiting pinkoy ha. Always a pleasure.
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